People say he should have adapted to her. That’s the problem. Why adapt to that behavior. It’s disrespectful because she doesn’t value his time or effort. Why adapt to that? She should learn time management and respect and appreciate that he is planning and doing things with her and has tried for 12 years. Learn appreciation. He had patience and dealt with it for a long time. He knows his value now and is walking away. This wouldn’t be a conversation if this was a man doing it to a woman.
After twelve years of marriage, a frustrated husband divorced his wife because of her never-ending tardiness.
Taking to Reddit’s True Off My Chest platform, a man said that throughout his marriage of twelve years, his wife never made any effort to do anything on time.
“My wife and I have been together for 12 years. During this time, she has not made even the slightest amount of effort to be on time for anything we did. When we were dating, average wait times were 15 minutes to an hour for her to finally fucking show up. I waited because I loved her. After marriage, she somehow got worse, and after childbirth, she got even worse. She used to blame circumstances for being late every time, but now she just blames our son. I put up with it because I loved her,” he wrote.
OP also gave a few examples to prove his point.
“Example 1: we’re currently looking at preschools. We’re 15-30 minutes late for each meeting because the thing we need most in our lives is for the teachers to believe our son is chronically going to be late for school. It’s always something with her.”
“Example 2: I wanted to see a movie in theaters a while ago. She wanted to come too. I had to leave her in a clothing shop because I was going to miss the start of the movie. Of course she was livid.”
“Example 3: a few months ago, we went to see a concert of a group she likes. We were an hour early because of course we were an hour early. It was something that she wanted to do.”
He continued his post and said that he had become sick and tired of his wife’s laziness and constant stubbornness in every matter.
“Dinner reservations are always a toss-up because restaurants in our area have no chill and will cancel your reservation if you’re a minute late. Growing increasingly anxious as she stares at her fucking phone and trying to ask her in the nicest way possible to hurry up is a horrible feeling, especially since she will flip her lid the second that I try to tell her we’re going to be late,” he added.
“Meeting up with friends, going to a children’s event with our son, for fucks sake even trying to take a walk is always an ordeal of trying to get her to put the god damn phone down and get ready so I don’t have to stand there like an idiot. I think my boiling point was last week when I stood at the entrance of our house for 20 minutes with our son, as he grew increasingly impatient, and then seeing she had abruptly decided to start vacuuming the house.”
“I’m getting spammed with calls from mutual friends and family. She went and told everyone that we’re getting divorced. Everyone wants to talk me out of it. I just broke after years of patience. I have no regrets.”
The annoyed husband also clarified that he was not cheating on his wife nor had any midlife crisis.
“No, I’m not having an affair. No, I’m not having a midlife crisis,” he said. “No, I’m not looking for a younger woman. No, I’m not hiding anything.”
People in the comment section supported the husband and said partners need to make efforts in relationships, and if they don’t do that, there’s no point in staying committed to such a person.
Many also shared their own experiences of dealing with chronically late people.
“It’s because she realized that she lost control and you were in control of the situation instead. The chronically late types tend to be either about control or egocentrism or both. It’s not about being late, it’s about having things the way they want,” one wrote.
“I had an ex that did this. So I started lying to her about the start times for the event. She would give the usual flurry of apologies and try to safe face. I would be calm as ever. When we arrived to the place early or right on time, she would be livid. Its like she wanted to waste more time,” another commented.
“I had a friend like that. Emphasis on HAD. I hated it. I don’t want to miss the first 15 min of every movie. I don’t want to watch her go Karen because our res was canceled. It was torturous,” a third added.
“I have a chronically late friend. I always tell him that my time is important, too. And he got all butt hurt when I told him to think about why we always ask him to bring dessert and not an appetizer,” a fourth said.
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